Unsynchronized
by xekari
Summary: Palex Oneshot.  What could've happened instead of the events of High Fidelity if Alex had communicated honestly with Paige.  Rating for brief language.


1Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Degrassi. As much as I love Palex, they belong to another. sob

AN: This is just a one-shot. What could've happened instead of the events in High Fidelity if Alex had communicated honestly with Paige. This is also my first Degrassi fic. Please feel free to point out my mistakes, be they characterization flaws or grammar/spelling flubs. Love it, hate it? Feedback makes me a better writer.

"Alex?"

The sound of my name whispered in a small voice brings me partly out of my light doze. "Mmm?" I mumble in response.

"You could come with me, you know?" Again Paige is talking in that small voice that she uses whenever she is uncertain of my reaction.

I try to hold back the frustrated sigh that I feel building inside. I don't want to have this discussion again, all it ever does is stir up bad feelings between us. Her fingers lightly stroke the bare skin of my right arm which is loosely draped over her waist. I know she's waiting for an answer. Maybe if I remain silent, she'll think I've fallen asleep.

The wind has picked up slightly and I can hear the small branches of a tree outside her window scratching at the screen. The breeze rustles through the pages of our books which were abandoned on her floor in favor of a late afternoon nap.

I love being here with her. Her home is so different from mine, I can relax here, no reason to be on guard. Her mother is downstairs, sounds like she's starting to prepare dinner. The distant sound of banging pots punctuates the unobtrusive noise from the den where her father is watching television. It's all so calm, picturesque almost. This is how normal families spend their evenings, from what I hear. At times like this, I can almost pretend that I belong here. I can pretend that I fit into this perfect little domestic scene.

Unfortunately, Paige is not falling for my silent act. She knows I am awake, and she wants to talk; about us, about our futures, about Banting. Her left hand grasps my right and she turns in my arms to face me. She places a brief kiss on my lips and nudges my nose with hers until I open my eyes. She giggles briefly when I stick my tongue out at her to express my displeasure at being woken up.

"I was promised a nap, this is not napping," I grumble.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss Grumpy," she replies in a decidedly unapologetic teasing tone. She lays her head back on her pillow and scoots closer to place soft kisses along my neck.

I can't hold back a slight grin as the feel of her lips on my skin brings me into full alertness. "Well, I suppose I can forgive you. It must be hard to fall asleep with a hot chick in your bed," I tease.

"You have no idea," she agrees, her little kisses evolving into playful nips and licks against my throat.

"Mmm... I am somewhat familiar with the problem," I argue as I turn over, draping half of my body over hers.

I lean down to capture her lips with a quick kiss as her left hand trails up my back to settle on the nape of my neck. She pulls me into her, kissing me deeply, shifting our bodies until I am laying fully atop her. Our legs intertwine, I can feel the fingers of her right hand slipping deftly under my shirt to rest against the small of my back. My right hand grips her hip, my thumb teasing the skin just above the waistband of her jeans.

I smile as we break our kiss to catch our breath, this is so much better than napping. I bring my left hand up to stroke her hair. I love her hair. I never really thought blondes were all that attractive, but then again, Paige kinda breaks all of my "type" rules, doesn't she? Who would've thought I'd be perfectly happy spending the afternoon in bed with Paige Michalchuk? If someone had told me six months ago that this lay in my future, I would've laughed, or punched them... depending on my mood. But here I am, here we are, and I honestly could not be happier than I am at this very moment.

Paige catches me looking thoughtful and kisses me softly to bring my attention back to her. She brushes a few strands of hair out of my eyes and asks the inevitable, "Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"You," I answer honestly, "and how happy you make me." I duck my head a bit to hide my blush. Saying things like that out loud always makes me feel a bit silly.

This earns a bright smile from my companion. "Good, making Alex Nunez happy is high on my To-Do list."

"Shouldn't it be number one on your list?" I tease as I lean back down for a kiss.

"Aren't we conceited," she teases back.

"Your fault if I am. Making out with the head cheerleader is a huge self-esteem booster."

"Well, maybe I should just forget about business school and become the world's first "Make-out Therapist", curing depression with only the power of my lips," she declares proudly.

I can't help but laugh at her cheeky grin, she looks so pleased with herself. I shake my head and try to look serious. "Nuh uh, Michalchuk, these lips are mine now," I growl and lean in again to lay my claim.

Thirty minutes later, I'm laying on my back staring at her ceiling, trying to calm myself before joining her parents for dinner. Paige is on her side, head nestled on my shoulder, her fingers idly drawing patterns on my stomach just below the hem of my shirt.

Our make out sessions are becoming briefer as they grow in intensity. We both know that we're getting close to the point of no return, but we don't talk about it. Are we ready to make love? I know she wants me, and it's getting harder every time to stop myself from crossing that line. With anyone else, I wouldn't even think of waiting. It's just the natural progression of a relationship, right? You kiss, you make out, you fuck and then somewhere down the line you break up. Rinse, repeat. This is different, just like everything with her has been.

Case in point: what we're doing at the moment. Snuggling, cuddling, whatever you want to call it. I have never done this with anyone. Resting together after sex, yes. But never has anyone held me in their arms just because it felt good to be together. It makes me feel good, makes me believe that she feels something deeper than just an attraction for me. I can't help but smile as I place a small kiss on the top of her head.

She sighs happily and hugs me. Paige tilts her head to look up at me, her expression unexpectedly serious. "I want you to come with me to Banting, Alex." She doesn't say it in her small voice this time. It's not a question, but doesn't sound like a demand either. She just sounds resolved, like she's made a decision and wants me to know.

I sigh deeply as I prepare to have this conversation, again. Paige knows how I feel about following her off to her dream university, yet she can't seem to let it go. "Paige..." I feel like the tone in my voice should be enough to warn her off this topic, but of course it's not.

"I know, I know," she sits up and crosses her legs beneath her, fixing me with a determined look. "You don't want to talk about it. But I just can't accept that I'm going to be leaving in a few months and you won't even consider coming with me. I want you there, with me. I can't imagine being away from you for months at a time with nothing but phone calls and emails to keep us together."

I sit up, hugging my knees to my chest. I've been thinking about the long distance thing, and I hate it. I know things like that never really work. I wish we weren't talking about this now, I wish we could just go back to our snuggles. I drop my forehead to my knees and squeeze my eyes shut. "Maybe we shouldn't stay together once you leave for university." I cringe, why did I have to say that? Why couldn't I have just followed the same old routine? Usually I just point out that I can't come to Banting and the reasons why, she argues with me until we reach a stalemate and then we agree to discuss it later. But not this time, no this time I just had to open my fat mouth and lay some reality down. Good going, Alex.

I expected some kind of reaction from her, but neither of us has moved since I spoke over a minute ago. I'm scared to look up, I wish I could take back what I said. Finally, I steel myself for an argument and look up into her eyes. She's so still, almost like she's frozen in place. Her eyes are open and she looks like she's staring towards me, but she doesn't react when I look up at her. Her silence is starting to worry me, not to mention being a bit on the creepy side. I lay my hand gently on her wrist and whisper her name, "Paige?"

Paige blinks rapidly a couple of times and seems to focus on me again. "What did you just say to me?" she asks in a tone that speaks not of hurt or anger, but just simple curiosity. "Are you... are you breaking up with me?"

Oh god, this is not what I wanted. "No, babe, I'm not," I grab both of her hands in mine and stare into her eyes, trying desperately to convey my sincerity. "I do not want to break up with you."

For a moment, I'm not sure if I've gotten through to her, but apparently she sees something reassuring in my eyes and she visibly relaxes. "Then what are you talking about, Alex? Why would we not stay together once the school year starts?"

I take a deep breath. This is not going to be easy, but I've thought long and hard about this and she deserves to know how I feel. "I don't want to hold you back. You're going to be on your own for the first time, with new people-"

"You wouldn't hold me back," she interrupts me, squeezing my hands tightly. "You would make it better, more-"

"Please, Paige just listen. I have to say this, and you need to hear it. You can disagree all you like, but just let me get this out, okay?" I pull my right hand away from her grip and rake my fingers through my hair, trying to gather my thoughts as she nods her assent. God, why does this have to be so hard? I have thought about this shit for weeks now, but somehow saying it out loud just feels wrong.

I look down at her coverlet, it's so girly. I mean, really, who owns a coverlet? But that's Paige for you. Her bed has a skirt, a coverlet, comforter, and even decorative pillows. Me? I have sheets, one pillow and an old quilt that one of my grandmothers made on a mattress in the corner of my room. Even in such basic ways, we're so different, how could she ever think we could fit into each other's lives after highschool?

Still staring down at her bed, I finally tell her of my misgivings. "I just have this picture of your life up there. You'll probably join a sorority and start hanging out with a bunch of Hazel clones." I look up into her eyes and hold them as I tell her my deepest fear, "You're gonna meet some Mr. Perfect-Banting-Guy and realize that this," I gesture between us, "was all a mistake. Just a phase, some teenage experimentation that you'll be more than happy to forget. Which is all normal, it's what you should do. I just don't wanna be around to watch it happen."

I turn away from her, blinking hard to hold back the tears that threaten to blur my vision. I should start looking for my things. Surely, she's pissed and I need to get my stuff together before she throws me out. Her cold hand grabs onto my sweaty one and holds me in a vice grip, almost like she's afraid I'll run if she were to let go. Maybe I would. Paige stares into my eyes. I feel open, vulnerable under her gaze. I want to look away, but I can't.

"Yeah, that's probably how it would've been if I had never met you," she says slowly as if explaining a complex idea to a small child.

"And so what? All that changes because you've hooked up with a welfare case who, by the way, happens to be a girl? We've only been together a couple of months, not even slept together, at this point I'd say this whole thing could still count as a phase you went through," my tone changed from angry to sullen. I don't even care how pathetic I sound at this point, I just have to get this stuff off my mind.

"I care about you, Alex, a lot. This is not a phase, the way I feel about you is not an experiment. Your happiness means more to me than anyone else's and you make me happier than anyone I've ever known. If meeting someone who changes your life for the better isn't a good reason to adjust your plans for your future, then I don't know what is," she leans in and kisses me slowly, her lips lingering against mine until I finally kiss back.

She pulls away once I respond with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I have a new plan," she informs me, "would you like to hear it?" I shrug, thinking that she's trying to lighten my mood by changing the subject. Usually, I appreciate it, but after revealing my deepest fears regarding our relationship, I don't feel much like playing.

She lays back down on her bed, wrapping her arm around my waist and pulling me down along with her. She pulls my left arm over her waist and scoots closer to me. Our noses are almost touching, she brings her right hand up and lightly strokes her fingers over my cheek, jaw and chin before settling her hand against the side of my neck.

"Close your eyes," she whispers to me. I do as she says. "Now don't open your eyes, don't speak, don't even move until I say so, okay?" I nod. "Thank you," she rewards me with a kiss on my chin.

"My new plan is for both of us, Alex. I want you to enroll at Toronto University this fall and I'm going to do the same. I want us to get an apartment together, or maybe just share a dorm. I want us to study together and do homework together," her words are slow, measured. They flow over me, instilling me with her confidence and belief in me, in a life that we could have together.

"I want to have lunch and dinner every day with you. I want to fall asleep in your arms, and push you out of bed in the morning to get to class. I want you to try, Alex. I want you to get the grades that I know you could if you would just try for them." She pauses, to add dramatic effect I'm sure. She spends way too much time with Marco. "And once you've gotten your GPA up, I want you to apply to Banting. I want us to go to Banting together, to succeed together."

I'm shocked. Every other time we've talked about the future, it's always been about Paige going to Banting and trying to get me to come along with her. Now she wants to put off her plans, postpone her perfect life to try and fit me into it? "I can't," I'm breaking her rules by speaking now, but at least I still have my eyes closed. "I can't let you ruin your plans for me."

"What would you be ruining? My plan was to go to Banting, get a degree and be fabulously successful. Banting will still be there in a year, I can wait until you're ready to be there with me. Look at me," she orders gently.

I open my eyes and desperately search the jade depths of hers for any signs of doubt, but find none. All I can see is hope, excitement, maybe even love.

"I know you're afraid, hon. I am too, but I know we can do this. I'm not going to ask you to decide right now, it's a lot to think about. Just promise me that you will think about it? Give yourself a chance, please?" She smiles that big, bright Paige Michalchuk grin and all I can do is smile back and nod.


End file.
